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Fahrenheit 451 or 9/11?
It seems that some people in the Democratic Political Party can't tell the difference between their National Convention and Science Fiction Fandom's World Convention. The web site for the DNC event is Boston04.com, but the one for Worldcon this year is Boston2004.com! This has lead to Democrats trying to volunteer at Worldcon...
To help solve this problem, the Noreascon people have posted on their site a hand checklist of things that will enable you to tell which is which. Please see original page for full credits
Original page: http://www.noreascon.org/not-the-dnc.html.
2004 Reasons Why ...
1. We're not $10 million over budget. We don't even /have/ a $10
million budget.
2. Our promises for the future are /supposed/ to be fiction.
3. You don't have to donate thousands of dollars to us (though we
wouldn't complain)?we'll give you a high-level appointment to
work for us for free!
4. The media will not outnumber the attendees.
5. Thoats and banthas are more interesting animals than donkeys
and elephants.
6. The folks wandering around with walkie-talkies are likely to
be helpful and friendly.
7. The slogans on our buttons are actually funny, and many of
them are about cats.
8. No one will be kissing babies except their immediate families
and friends.
9. When we talk about "skull and bones" it's probably in a
discussion about paleontology.
10. When we sling mud, it's probably in a workshop on making alien
pottery.
11. There may be a few folks wearing helmets with strange antennas
sticking out, but they won't be roving news reporters.
12. You didn't know the results of our voting last March.
13. We won't be dropping thousands of balloons after the Hugo
winners are announced.
14. We won't be preempting your favorite television shows.
15. Protest groups are not planning to picket our convention.
16. If you wander into our facilities, alert Secret Service agents
will not wrestle you to the floor.
17. Two of our Guests of Honor are not eligible to be President of
the U.S.
18. The people asking you to vote for them will give you chocolate.
19. We aren't putting it on with your money, unless you bought a
membership.
20. Our speakers are actually entertaining.
21. Secret Service has no plans to shut down major highways for us.
22. You can still get hotel rooms for under $2,000 for Noreascon
Four, and you don't have to stay in New Hampshire.
23. Nobody from Noreascon Four will be sleeping in university
gymnasiums.
24. Traffic copters won't be grounded during our convention (so
you can get Boston traffic information, which refers to places
that /used/ to be there).
25. Businesses will be open all their usual hours.
26. You'll be able to get a seat in your favorite restaurant.
27. Noreascon 4 will have lots more than one party to have fun with.
28. When someone tries to sell you something, it's because they
are a dealer in the dealers' room.
29. We have members from around the world.
30. Nobody ever won a Hugo by starting a sentence with, "If you
vote for me, then I promise to...".
31. Pictures from our convention won't always include Faneuil Hall.
32. Discworld is carried on elephants, not donkeys.
33. Filkers know more songs than just "Happy Days Are Here Again"
and "Don't Stop (Thinking About Tomorrow)".
34. We won't be saying nasty things about other conventions.
35. Rather than making you wander the city to find art, music, and
shopping, we provide it all on-site!
36. If we rewrite history we label it as fiction or "alternative
history".
37. The Australian ballot system is easier to understand than the
Electoral College system.
38. At least some of our funny hats have propellers on them.
39. It'll be easy to see where a person's from by reading his/her
badge, so nobody has to listen to speeches beginning with five
minutes of things like, "Mr. Chairman, Montana, where the
mountains are high, the skies are clear, the sheep are nervous..."
40. In a word-association test, we respond to "Fahrenheit" with "451."
41. We are allowed to accept donations from non-resident
aliens?but our aliens may have tentacles and extra feet.
42. Nobody we've nominated for anything is about to be handed
millions of dollars by the Federal Elections Commission.
43. Our scheduling doesn't put all our activities during "prime"
time to take advantage of network broadcasting?exciting things
will be going on all day long.
44. Neither Time nor Newsweek will be featuring us on their covers.
45. /Their/ celebrities are politicians and Hollywood actors.
/Our/ celebrities are writers, editors, artists, and musicians.
46. Local residents will be able to get to work instead of being
trapped at home by security grid lock.
47. Once on site at Noreascon 4, you can come and go at will. No
metal-detector screening!
48. Our convention /has/ programming for children. Theirs?
49. Some of our attendees have written books /about/ ghosts. Some
of theirs have had books written /by/ ghosts.
50. Our attendees are likely to be wearing tee-shirts listing the
reasons we're not like a major political convention.
51. /Our/ convention organizers weren't so provincial as to choose
a "local boy" for Guest of Honor.
52. At our convention, "Star Wars" has a rather different meaning
than at theirs?as perhaps does, "undocumented aliens".
53. Our Guests of Honor write their own speeches.
54. 100% greater chance of men openly wearing tights at Noreascon 4.
55. Our attendees often swear in forms unrecognizable to the FCC.
56. At Noreascon 4, bloodsuckers are identifiable by the fangs and
sunglasses rather than microphones and cameras.
57. Some of our founding fathers are still around.
58. People at the other convention probably don't copyedit their
signage in real time.
59. People in Boston won't need to indulge in blizzard-style
shopping patterns during our convention.
60. People at our convention are more likely to think that "spin
control" refers to the Hubble Space Telescope's gyros.
To help solve this problem, the Noreascon people have posted on their site a hand checklist of things that will enable you to tell which is which. Please see original page for full credits
Original page: http://www.noreascon.org/not-the-dnc.html.
2004 Reasons Why ...
1. We're not $10 million over budget. We don't even /have/ a $10
million budget.
2. Our promises for the future are /supposed/ to be fiction.
3. You don't have to donate thousands of dollars to us (though we
wouldn't complain)?we'll give you a high-level appointment to
work for us for free!
4. The media will not outnumber the attendees.
5. Thoats and banthas are more interesting animals than donkeys
and elephants.
6. The folks wandering around with walkie-talkies are likely to
be helpful and friendly.
7. The slogans on our buttons are actually funny, and many of
them are about cats.
8. No one will be kissing babies except their immediate families
and friends.
9. When we talk about "skull and bones" it's probably in a
discussion about paleontology.
10. When we sling mud, it's probably in a workshop on making alien
pottery.
11. There may be a few folks wearing helmets with strange antennas
sticking out, but they won't be roving news reporters.
12. You didn't know the results of our voting last March.
13. We won't be dropping thousands of balloons after the Hugo
winners are announced.
14. We won't be preempting your favorite television shows.
15. Protest groups are not planning to picket our convention.
16. If you wander into our facilities, alert Secret Service agents
will not wrestle you to the floor.
17. Two of our Guests of Honor are not eligible to be President of
the U.S.
18. The people asking you to vote for them will give you chocolate.
19. We aren't putting it on with your money, unless you bought a
membership.
20. Our speakers are actually entertaining.
21. Secret Service has no plans to shut down major highways for us.
22. You can still get hotel rooms for under $2,000 for Noreascon
Four, and you don't have to stay in New Hampshire.
23. Nobody from Noreascon Four will be sleeping in university
gymnasiums.
24. Traffic copters won't be grounded during our convention (so
you can get Boston traffic information, which refers to places
that /used/ to be there).
25. Businesses will be open all their usual hours.
26. You'll be able to get a seat in your favorite restaurant.
27. Noreascon 4 will have lots more than one party to have fun with.
28. When someone tries to sell you something, it's because they
are a dealer in the dealers' room.
29. We have members from around the world.
30. Nobody ever won a Hugo by starting a sentence with, "If you
vote for me, then I promise to...".
31. Pictures from our convention won't always include Faneuil Hall.
32. Discworld is carried on elephants, not donkeys.
33. Filkers know more songs than just "Happy Days Are Here Again"
and "Don't Stop (Thinking About Tomorrow)".
34. We won't be saying nasty things about other conventions.
35. Rather than making you wander the city to find art, music, and
shopping, we provide it all on-site!
36. If we rewrite history we label it as fiction or "alternative
history".
37. The Australian ballot system is easier to understand than the
Electoral College system.
38. At least some of our funny hats have propellers on them.
39. It'll be easy to see where a person's from by reading his/her
badge, so nobody has to listen to speeches beginning with five
minutes of things like, "Mr. Chairman, Montana, where the
mountains are high, the skies are clear, the sheep are nervous..."
40. In a word-association test, we respond to "Fahrenheit" with "451."
41. We are allowed to accept donations from non-resident
aliens?but our aliens may have tentacles and extra feet.
42. Nobody we've nominated for anything is about to be handed
millions of dollars by the Federal Elections Commission.
43. Our scheduling doesn't put all our activities during "prime"
time to take advantage of network broadcasting?exciting things
will be going on all day long.
44. Neither Time nor Newsweek will be featuring us on their covers.
45. /Their/ celebrities are politicians and Hollywood actors.
/Our/ celebrities are writers, editors, artists, and musicians.
46. Local residents will be able to get to work instead of being
trapped at home by security grid lock.
47. Once on site at Noreascon 4, you can come and go at will. No
metal-detector screening!
48. Our convention /has/ programming for children. Theirs?
49. Some of our attendees have written books /about/ ghosts. Some
of theirs have had books written /by/ ghosts.
50. Our attendees are likely to be wearing tee-shirts listing the
reasons we're not like a major political convention.
51. /Our/ convention organizers weren't so provincial as to choose
a "local boy" for Guest of Honor.
52. At our convention, "Star Wars" has a rather different meaning
than at theirs?as perhaps does, "undocumented aliens".
53. Our Guests of Honor write their own speeches.
54. 100% greater chance of men openly wearing tights at Noreascon 4.
55. Our attendees often swear in forms unrecognizable to the FCC.
56. At Noreascon 4, bloodsuckers are identifiable by the fangs and
sunglasses rather than microphones and cameras.
57. Some of our founding fathers are still around.
58. People at the other convention probably don't copyedit their
signage in real time.
59. People in Boston won't need to indulge in blizzard-style
shopping patterns during our convention.
60. People at our convention are more likely to think that "spin
control" refers to the Hubble Space Telescope's gyros.
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P.S. I am now signed up for Vonage. Phone line was crappy last night though. :( And I didn't realize I was gonna get a new phone number. I thought I could stick with my old one. :( Oh well.