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Surviving...
Oct. 21st, 2004 10:18 pmWell, last night, I had one of the things I usually never have, a panic attack. It's no so much me freaking out, but simply I can't get something out of my mind, and it won't let me get to sleep. It's happened twice before, both concerning my hearing. This one was just a general, "how the heck am I going to get through this one?!?!?". I know the answer, through the kind help of The Gods, and my friends...but it is a panic attack since rational thinking doesn't alleviate the problem.
Of course, it's been a very hard time for me since finding out how royally screwed I was by the unemployment people. One of my kind roommates/friend tried to cheer me up by driving up to a place where you can overlook the city, and it was nice, but it didn't help my mood. Getting a job, or getting some form of income will help my mood. Or winning a lottery (oops, those fscking people who claim to be Christians prevented that possiblity in North Carolina)...It's like the first month or so that I started taking the zoloft. I dread to think what might have happened if I was not on medications....
My roomates are concerned, but there is not a lot they can do...they are doing all that can be done. Maybe with both the Friar and Pup pulling for me, I will be able to get a job where they work. Maybe I will see about getting a job as a checkout clerk at a grocery or dep. I think I could handle that for a while. At least out here where I live, it is not a dangerous job, as robberies are very rare out here. In Charlotte, working as a dep cashier is almost as high-risk as being a member of the police!
Another thing I need to talk to my roomates is about food. I have a limited amount of things that I can eat, and while I don't mind sharing them with others, there is barely enough to keep me fed never mind them. And to make it worse, they are the ones paying for it....but at the moment, there is only french fries and a frozen loaf of bread for me to eat, and lots of pasta. I know it's probably not rational, but it is one of the things that is causing me problems. So as soon as their movie is finished, I will be chatting with them.
ttyl
Of course, it's been a very hard time for me since finding out how royally screwed I was by the unemployment people. One of my kind roommates/friend tried to cheer me up by driving up to a place where you can overlook the city, and it was nice, but it didn't help my mood. Getting a job, or getting some form of income will help my mood. Or winning a lottery (oops, those fscking people who claim to be Christians prevented that possiblity in North Carolina)...It's like the first month or so that I started taking the zoloft. I dread to think what might have happened if I was not on medications....
My roomates are concerned, but there is not a lot they can do...they are doing all that can be done. Maybe with both the Friar and Pup pulling for me, I will be able to get a job where they work. Maybe I will see about getting a job as a checkout clerk at a grocery or dep. I think I could handle that for a while. At least out here where I live, it is not a dangerous job, as robberies are very rare out here. In Charlotte, working as a dep cashier is almost as high-risk as being a member of the police!
Another thing I need to talk to my roomates is about food. I have a limited amount of things that I can eat, and while I don't mind sharing them with others, there is barely enough to keep me fed never mind them. And to make it worse, they are the ones paying for it....but at the moment, there is only french fries and a frozen loaf of bread for me to eat, and lots of pasta. I know it's probably not rational, but it is one of the things that is causing me problems. So as soon as their movie is finished, I will be chatting with them.
ttyl
